There is no formula set in stone instructing a person on how they should mourn the loss of their loved one. For Bianca Naidoo, she drew strength from her and Riky Rick’s children and promises to make him proud.
It has been a year since Boss Zonke, Mr. Cotton Eater, passed on due to suicide. The rapper whose life and music continues to be celebrated through his famous Cotton Fest and his timeless music, has his “wife” Bianca Naidoo to thank for keeping his memory alive.
In an interview with You, Bianca opens up on her grief and how she continues to mourn Riky.
“I’ve decided this year I’m not going to put pressure on myself. I’m trying to figure out a lot of things and I want to ensure I make Riky proud. I want to be a great mom and support our kids. It’s a lot of learning, this new normal. Trying to understand and deal with grief.”
Bianca said she and Riky were meant to be, “I’ve said this quite often before: I know the fact that Riky and I were put together was God’s work. It was meant to be. I feel like we were part of the same tree. There were just so many things that made sense. It was just right.”
The most difficult part was having to tell their kids about his death, “Having to tell the kids. I don’t even know how I was feeling. I can’t even remember if I was numb. Survival mode kicked in, not for myself, but for the children and everyone else around me. I tried to be open and honest with my children because I wanted them to know what had happened from me,” she says.
In an interview with the SABC last year, Bianca said, “Some days are easier than others. I manage with such an amazing support structure around me, and the kids also give me a lot of strength. The days when I’m not okay, I allow myself to be not okay.” she started off.
“I was very open from the beginning, from day one, about what happened to dad. I talk a lot with children, I listen a lot. Now they are comfortable expressing themselves and they both process in their own way. They know that if they have questions, they can come and ask and talk about it, and I think they’re both there. It’s just a matter of me being honest.” she continued.
She reminisced on the very last conversation they had and what they spoke about, “Last Sunday we talked for about five hours. The most beautiful conversation about everything, just life, us, the kids, how he felt… just everything. This conversation gave me a lot of peace because in this conversation any questions and doubts were expressed.
“I also spoke to Ricky early in the morning. I never thought or felt… because his last words in that conversation were, ‘I’m going home’ and ‘I love you,'”
Bianca concluded the interview by saying she wants Riky to know that he is loved and missed, “He knew how much we loved him. I think that was very clear. I would say it over and over again. I think that is right, we just really miss him.” – ZAlebs